photo courtesy of pattista

It's funny, the topic of this article is excuses and this has been one of my toughest entries to write so far. It has taken me the longest to write. Not that it's any longer than my previous articles, it's just that the subject matter hits home for me much more on a personal level. Of course, I made excuses for it, such as not having enough time, being too busy, writer's block, etc. I then realized I was making excuses for not writing an article on excuses! I had to explore the underlying truths I was attempting to avoid, because as you will read, excuses are masks for a truth we don't want to face. What I began to realize, was that my excuses for delaying this article boiled far deeper than merely writing an article, it was a revelation into why I put things off, why I procrastinate and what I was fearful of.

What are excuses?

This quote goes out to a friend:

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

It is in the understanding of ourselves that fear comes to an end. If the individual is to grapple with life from moment to moment, if he is to face its intricacies, its miseries and sudden demands, he must be infinitely pliable and, therefore, free of theories and particular patterns of thought.

Jiddu Krishnamurti, Total Freedom: The Essential Krishnamurti

The victim mentality is totally disempowering. It works on the assumption that others are more capable of directing your life than you are. Such a disabling conclusion forces you to remain passive, convinced that you're defeated before you begin, blocking your positive energy and making it impossible to get anything wonderful back. Your insistence that you have been - or are being - victimized will only bring more evidence of that from the Universe.

Sandra Anne Taylor, Secrets of Attraction: The Universal Laws of Love, Sex and Romance

Image courtesy of levork

Adversities, troubles and hardships seem to bother us all the time. We spend so much time thinking about our misfortunes and problems. They cause so much greif, pain and suffering that it's difficult not to. But what exactly are we thinking about? Do we really understand this concept of adversity - this idea of misfortune and obstacles? Have you ever took the time to question what an adversity really is? Whenever I feel stuck in a situation, I like to start all over. Assume everything I know is false. Requestion everything. I'd like to ask you to do the same. Let us take the time now to delve a little deeper into this query. Lets see if we can investigate and analyze what we mean when we talk about adversity, hardships, and obstacles.

To cope with our pain and fear and to fill the vast emptiness now experienced in the center of our being, we seek comforting external stimuli that we hope will replicate former states - pacifiers, baby bottles, stuffed animals, scraps of cloth all might serve this purpose. We mask the pain and confusion of our loss and attempt to mimic our former state of wholeness. As we grow older, we might mask our emotional emptiness by eating, amass wealth to feel valuable, or keep busy to avoid the sense of hollowness in our center. Eventually these ways of offsetting our perceived inadequacies harden into layers of behavior that make up the defensive mask of our personality.

Jett Psaris, PH.D. and Marlena S. Lyons, PH.D., Undefended Love